So I haven't posted about this in a while...but it has been on my heart and mind a lot lately...so here goes.

This week six months ago will forever be etched in my memory. It's still strange that today, six months after, I sometimes still walk into their house and expect to hear her voice...full of joy and ready to talk for a while before piano lessons or whatever else I was there for...I never got out of there on schedule, but I loved it.:) Sometimes I can't get my mind around what her passing means...like I can't really get the fact that she's gone. I guess grief feels like this. It doesn't directly affect me, but it directly affects her husband and five kids whom I love dearly and count as my family. My family and I have the privilege of walking through this trial with them. And I know that what we go through isn't half as bad as what the kids and Andy are going through, but it still hurts. I still dread the first week of each month and the memories it brings...but God has been so good over the past six months.

He has grown us in our understanding of His sovereignty...knowing that even though we don't understand why, we know that He ordained this and it is good for us because He is good. He has grown us in learning to trust Him...for where else can we turn when we don't understand? Who is better than our God who gave us what we needed most? He has grown us in love for Him and service for others...we've had to die to ourselves and what we want to serve those God has sent to us to serve...and God has allowed us to do it out of love. He has grown our friendship and has knit our hearts closer together to be like a big family.

So I don't know why she's not here anymore...but I do know that since God has gotten us through the past six months, He will get us through the next years of our lives. He who promised to never leave us is faithful.

No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me.
From life's first cry to final breath,
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand.
'Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I stand.