Learning to trust God...

So...for the past couple of months I've had reoccurring headaches/migraines...reoccurring meaning a pretty decent one about every day and a bad migraine once or twice a week. After weeks of totally being over this, I went to the doctor today. She did the normal physical stuff, took blood (which I did NOT faint during today...I was close, but I didn't...evidence of God's grace right there...), and then told me I need to take a multivitamin each day, keep a headache diary, and gave me another prescription for a stronger pain medication that is less likely for me to get addicted to. She said Excedrine isn't good to take anymore...something about it being potentially addicting. She's a smart lady. :) And she thinks they're stress related...which is great because when is life not stressful? :)

I was relaying this info to a dear friend of mine today, and she told me that this is a wonderful challenge for me to learn to cast my cares upon the Lord...especially with having stress related headaches. That was something I hadn't thought of yet. So I explored the idea a little bit.

I have been trying to figure out what God could be teaching me through this...and I think my dear friend pin pointed it for me. It is to learn (still) to trust Him in each and every situation. I find myself thinking that I can lean on God and trust Him in the big things...like finishing school, keeping me safe as I'm driving down roads, picking a husband for me, allowing me to work...you know, big stuff. But I seem to think that I can handle what I think as "little" things...like homework and studying, scheduling piano lessons, doing lesson plans, etc. I am less apt to rely on Him for the little things to fall into place. And really, my "little things" list is much much bigger than my "big things" list...so guess where the stress in my life comes from? Bingo! You've got it! It's from that stinking "little things" list. The list that I think I can handle. The list that has me overwhelmed and preoccupied and anxious all the time. Enter bad headaches. And there you have it.

So what does one do about this? Well, as 1 Peter 5:7 says, I am to cast ALL my cares on the Lord, for HE cares for me. Not just the things I determine as "big" things, but the little things in life as well. The little things that tempt me to be anxious, the little things that I think about and get this feeling of dread and then a headache...God cares about those things too. He wants me to trust Him. He created me to be utterly dependent on Him. How full of pride to I have to be to think that I can do a better job running my life than the King of the universe who made me and all things around me in the first place?

I am so thankful for the gospel. I am so thankful that Jesus died for my prideful self so that I can trust Him with all my heart and not in myself. My eternal future is set. My Jesus has paved the way for me to get to the Father. I have full access to the throne of grace. How can I neglect so great a gift! I pray that my life might be spent on my knees before that throne begging for wisdom and begging for strength. I need to trust my faithful Father who has never shown Himself to be anything less than good. I am not to be apathetic and lazy, but in my work, I will strive to do my best and then trust the Lord for the outcome...only He determines what that is going to be.

So you stinking headaches...I'm fighting back now. I'm going to relax and learn to trust in my faithful God to show me what steps in life to take. You are not going to win! :)